Well, Since You're Here

Those pesky new year’s resolutions! Yes, it’s June and I am talking about new year’s resolutions because that is what got me into this mix.

In 2025, I stopped making resolutions and started a bingo card instead. Instead of numbers in the boxes, you write down and intention, activity, goal… whatever you would like. Then as you complete the activities, you get to check them off your card… working towards a “BINGO!” Let’s just say, it was a great intention… but I forgot about it after about three months.

So, for 2026, I am attempting the bingo card idea again. This time, I had an accountability partner (we’ll call her Stacey… because that’s her name). Stacey and I met at a local coffee house with markers, stickers and all the fun stuff in hand. We spent a hour or two chatting, sipping coffee and coloring. Two grown-ass women in a coffee shop coloring & playing with stickers. To say we were a distraction to the kiddos walking through is an understatement.

Anywho… a couple hours later, I had in hand my goals for the year. Things like, “Monthly Coffee Date”, and “Save $200 Each Month”, and things that I can easily schedule and check off were many of my boxes. But then I got a little crazy (probably too much coffee) and wrote down “Do Something That Scares Me” and “Do Something Spontaneous.” These… not so easy to check off. I mean, if it’s not planned, scheduled, an already formed habit, or a medical emergency… it’s probably not happening.

So…. fast forward 5 months and it was time to look at that bingo card again. Staring me right in the face was “Do Something That Scares Me.” So, I could let a spider crawl on my arm, let someone throw knives at me, swim with alligators, or do something for me. It was a grueling few hours as I debated where the closest alligator-filled lake was located or if the local axe-throwing facility would allow me to stand in front of the target boards… but I landed on do something for me.

Ugh… the though of spending time and energy on myself… it’s the most terrifying thing on the list of things I could think of… add my big mouth making a public commitment to it on social media… oh sweet angels above. To say I have had second and third.. and even fourth thoughts over the past 7 days is a gross understatement.

So here I am… doing something that terrifies me… letting people in (a little bit further at least). But in a safe way I guess… I mean… I don’t actually have to talk to anyone, right? (Thank heavens! Talking to people is a a whole different therapy session… I mean post.) And… bonus! I’m not getting charged by the hour to think out loud.

However, if you think I don’t read your comments and internalize them to value my self-worth… notice I have changed platforms… because the smartest tech guy I know (we’ll call him Zach… because that’s his name) told me I should be on WordPress to have a blog. So here I am … on WordPress….not only doing something that scares me… but using tech I have no idea how to use. LOL! Oh the gifts just keep on coming.

Stay tuned… or not…. as I learn to navigate technology, share my thoughts on things you really don’t care about, and ramble on and on about ideas and thoughts that I probably haven’t fully developed. And… maybe go make your own bingo card… start a “Mid-Year’s Resolution”… who knows… you may just amaze yourself.

People have told me for years… “You need to write a book. I’d buy it in a heartbeat.”

Well… let me let you in on a secret… I have no idea how to write a book. My grammar is atrocious… and spelling… HA! I can’t imagine anyone would pay to read about the crap that goes through this head. I can hardly complete a three-step task without getting side-tracked…. And, well, honestly… I’m not sure where to start. The day I was born? Today, and work backwards? And really…. I don’t have great advice. I don’t know how to cook. I am not a super successful self-made millionaire.

I’m a mom. A wife. A daughter. An employee. A teacher at heart. A storyteller. An ever-striving-to-be-enough woman-child who wants to be everything to everyone in every situation. And guess what… I never am. I always come up short. I never quite hit the mark. I’m a walking cluster-f*ck. (Sorry… should have giving a warning about language.) I’m scattered… always moving in 23 directions at one time. I over-think. I over-share. I’m reactive. I’m inappropriate. I’m emotionally defunct. I’m a whole-hearted kinda girl. I can’t half-ass it. I take on more than I can chew. I get overwhelmed. I’m exhausted. I’m always striving to be more. And I never quite get to the imaginary finish line.

Social media came into my life once I was already a momma. I had two young kiddos, a police officer hubby with a crazy schedule and was trying to climb up my own career ladder. I never tried to sugar coat my life in posts. I shared snapshots of reality. Kids with mismatching shoes. All the outtakes of getting the one perfect Christmas photo. The behind the scenes reality that you just have to embrace and laugh at. That’s me. I am the behind the scenes reality.

But am I really? I still only show others the picture I want them to see – as imperfect as it is. I don’t ever let people all the way in. So while I pride myself on being authentic… am I? (See, here’s the overthinking and oversharing.)

I find writing therapeutic. And since I don’t know how to write a book…. I figured I’d start a blog. I don’t expect anyone to read it. But…. Maybe putting pen to paper… or in this case finger to keyboard… well…. Let’s just call it an experiment… a journey… a replacement for those baby books I never put together. Sorry kids! You’re never gonna know when you got your first tooth. You were probably between 6-12 months old (according to Google). What can I say? Mom of the year.

So anyway… stop in… stay a while… or scroll on by. Either way…. I’ll be here. Polishing my soapbox. Trying to remember what I ate for breakfast so I can log it for the day. 😉