life lessons – Well, Since You're Here

Thank Your Sir… May I Have Another?

“Gratitude activates the part of the brain linked to happiness and contentment. Just a few minutes can greatly shift your mood.” ~ per my Gratitude Plus App. (So that has to have scientific backing right?)

Yep… in my efforts to better myself and simplify my mind, I decided I needed to go back to intentional daily gratitude. Somehow, META has mind-reading capabilities and low and behold, a gratitude app popped up on my social media feed. (Zuckerberg… you are getting TOO good…. I didn’t even say it aloud…. or google it… and you STILL knew… probably because of my podcast history for my boy Shetty… but honestly – get out of my head.) I, of course, had to try the free trial for the app. Because, let’s be real…. A notebook and pen just isn’t gonna do it… and I am obviously a SUCKER.

Anywho, it turns out expressing gratitude really does do something to your noggin’. According to The American Brain Foundation, “gratitude triggers the brain’s reward system, releasing hormones and neurotransmitters that have tangible physical and mental health benefits.” I know. I know…. I can trigger the reward system of my brain with a good workout… or a piece of peanut butter pie. So what’s the big deal behind gratitude?

Well, it turns out that expressing gratitude physically changes how your brain functions. Regular gratitude is like a workout for your brain… by activating brain regions responsible for decision-making, emotional awareness, motivation and higher-order thinking, it strengthens your pre-frontal cortex.

Additionally, gratitude calms the brain’s stress response by activating the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) and lowering cortisol levels – you know… that stuff responsible for my Pillsbury Dough-Boy mid-section – promoting relaxation resulting in better sleep, stronger immunity and improved digestion. SOLD! Sign me up!

Not only does expressing gratitude regularly impact you physically, but it can actually rewire your brain by strengthening neural pathways… and maybe even increase gray matter – the stuff that supports learning, memory, speech, movement & other cognitive functions. We all know how important gray matter is as we round second and head for third in the game of life.

So…. Here I am, completely bought in… hook, line & sinker. I am a true believer that what you put out in the universe, you get back in return. (Too woo-woo?? Maybe. But, ehhhh… I believe it none-the-less.) So, not only will I be putting kindness and acknowledgement of value out into the universe… but gratitude is like a GLP-1… right? I mean… come on… better digestion, lower cortisol… releasing those feel-good chemicals so I don’t eat that piece of peanut butter pie….

Even though I probably won’t lose 25 pounds by practicing daily gratitude… I’m gonna give it a go…. and, use this nifty app I just downloaded. If you want to practice with me I believe you can join my private circle .. just shoot me a message or leave me a comment and I will shoot you the invite code. It tells me anyone can join for free. Who knows….

I’m trying to decide if this is Shetty’s #3: Today I Direct My Attention… or #7: I Measure Today by Who I Am, Not Just What I Achieve. Either way… today, I am grateful for …

My hubby (who puts up with all my randomness and has learned to just go with the flow and not point out every time I shift with the wind)
Time with my adult-ish children (who I just spent a week with confined to a tiny cabin in Northern Michigan…oooooh boy…. Really need to focus on that gratitude)
Sunshine. Yes. Just good ol’s sunshine. There is something about how a clear sky can just make my mood a million times better.

So, since you’re here, take a moment and think of a couple things you are grateful for today. Leave a comment, write them down in your journal, or just take 30 seconds out of your day to identify them. Here’s to working out our brains!

Morning Intentions

I was recently challenged to set daily intentions each morning. To which I shared… I have… many times. I just can’t say they manifested. I intend to get the house cleaned up. I intend to organize the junk drawer. (Seriously… everyone has one of these right? How is it my kitchen has three… “mail/coupon and instructions junk,” “junk, note paper & pens,” “extra screws & manly junk”?) I intend to be nice to everyone I come in contact with… even that grumpy friend tailing me on the way to work.

However, after a few days of getting up 10 minutes early to set these intentions, I decide that hitting the snooze button is an easier intention… and one I can keep on a daily basis. So…. as I do with every challenge that is thrown my way… I over think it. I try to find someone to give me the easy answer while trying to understand the neurobiology of why intention setting works. Well… leave it to Jay Shetty to give me the answers I didn’t even know I was looking for.

According to neurobiology, some ancient yogis, a bunch of monks… and, of course, sweet Jay… the morning is not just the start of your day, it’s the start of your body’s operating system. “What runs in those first minutes doesn’t just affect your mood, it architecturally shapes how your brain will process every single event, conversation and decision for the next 16 hours”, according to, my close friend – even though he may not know it yet, Jay.

Ever wake up thinking about the unfinished business from yesterday… the bag that has to be returned to TJ Max but is still sitting in your car because you were too tired to stop on the way home… or the odd question that your boss asked you as you were walking out of the office last night and you are trying to figure out what it meant… or maybe just the fact that you are out of strawberry jam and little Bobby won’t eat grape on his PB&J and you have nothing else to pack for lunch? Well…. that’s because these little problems that haven’t been solved, or tasks that haven’t been completed, are like an open loop in your operating system. Your brain doesn’t like open loops…. so it immediately brings them to the front of your attention so that you can close them and make your brain happy. … or something really scientific like that.

Once those thoughts hit your brain in the first few minutes, they set the tone for the day. You are already behind the 8-ball… and I’ve truly never understood that. Don’t you want to be behind the 8-ball? Or maybe not… maybe it means that you have to hit the 8-ball with the cue ball to get to your ball. I mean, that’s not too bad as long as you can avoid the pockets on the table. Obviously, I’m no pool shark… but… oh, sorry… I digress….

Anywho… Jay highlights 7 things you need to tell your conscious mind as soon as you wake up. In an effort to be more intentional… and yes… I now realize I was being challenged with the how I show up… not the what gets accomplished…. I am going to try to implement these things into my morning wake up routine.

I Am Awake Before My Problems – Am I though? It usually takes me a couple cups of coffee… but okay… we’ll give it the ol’ college try.
I Am Not Yesterday – Obviously. I am also not tomorrow. But that has never stopped me from overthinking both.
Today I Direct My Attention – That one is just plain lofty.. let’s be real.
I Wont Try to Solve Problems That Haven’t Happened Yet – I feel like we should refer back to #2.
My Body Isn’t a Vehicle For My Head – I’m super confused
I Focus on What Matters Most, Not What Feels Urgent – Ooo! Ooo! I like this one. However, I really suck at it.
I Measure Today by Who I Am, Not Just What I Achieve – Now that’s deep.

So… here we go. I am going to start digging into these 7 concepts and see if I can’t help my operating system operate a little bit better. Wish me luck as I try to implement these 7 concepts into my morning routine. I will obviously need to listen to this podcast a few more (hundred) times.

In case you want to learn more about open loops, setting intentional ways of being…. or just listen to Jay’s amazing accent, go to where you listen to your podcasts, find Jay Shetty, and click on 7 Things to Tell Yourself Every Morning (April 3). Or you can continue to follow me for updates… but I make no promises. I am no Jay Shetty… or a Buddhist Monk – even though they FASCINATE me. But that’s a whole separate blog post……

A Life Lesson From a Game

The sound of screaming from mommas, siblings, some grandparents … and most likely a loudmouth auntie or two. The sight of a group of dads lined up on the wall standing with their arms crossed and talking out of the side of their mouths to the guys next to them – a couple of them with munchkins hanging onto their legs. The smell of sweat, popcorn and gym shoes. You guessed it… there is nothing like a middle-school basketball tourney!

This weekend Spooky Nook Champion Mill hosted an Under Armor Future Finals. I love the Under Armor tourneys. (My fave being the UAA finals when the 7+ foot 16 year-olds walk around town and I am in utter amazement every single time….. How DO we grow them that big?? And what is their poor momma’s weekly grocery bill!? I shutter to think about it.)

So, while the sights and sounds of these tourneys make me want to break out my gym shoes and go running out on the court… to coach or play…. a little piece of me gets super sad. Not because I sprain an ankle and pull a hammy just thinking about being back on a court, but because there is a piece of me that never got to realize her potential (or maybe lack there of)… so she always wonders. And wondering is worse than knowing.

Basketball is in my DNA. I grew up worshiping old school basketball. Larry Bird (big ol’ guy who wasn’t super slick… but dang he could play ball), Isaiah Thomas (so cute… and so little for the NBA), Dr. J, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar… and the icon, my hero… Michael Jordan. I mean, that Sports Illustrated VHS… 1989 NBA Superstars… my brothers and I wore that thing OUT! I still think of it every time I hear John Mellencamp’s song Small Town.

I grew up hearing all about the legend my dad was in high school… that full court shot that made it, but didn’t count because he was throwing the ball in from the baseline and no one else touched it before it hit the net. (Yeah… he’s a local legend. lol!) I grew up chasing that basketball dream. I LOVED the game. I LOVED to not only watch it… but play it as well. I LOVED being driven, pushed, coached… I LOVED the after-game or after-practice talk that occurred every time my shoes touched the court – well, tolerated the after-practice talk. A 12-year old only can only listen for so long before she starts thinking about the phone call she needs to make at 7:30 on the one landline phone in the house.

I was so pumped for high school ball, that I decided to “run” cross country. (And that experience my friends is a whole different post. Let’s just say, I bonded closely with some friends and had my fair share of ice cream that season.) However, I was also gifted with extremely flat feet, so “running” (and I use that term very lightly) long distance caused me a lot of pain. Well-intentioned coaches taped my feet every day… and to make a long story short, once basketball season conditioning started we realized I had grade four stress fractures on both shins – requiring 3-4 months of no running, no jumping, limited time on my feet and lots of ice.

Devastated. Broken. Crushed. But… determined, resolute and dedicated…. I attended every practice & game, studied the plays, shot a million and one free-throws, would give my friends feedback on their footwork, their body position, and their follow through. My sophomore year, the coach put me on varsity and had me float to JV for two quarters each game to get court experience. However, the JV coach had her team picked out – so I sat. I didn’t have court experience at the high school level, so during the varsity games – I sat. By the end of the season my spirit was broken. That season took a huge emotional toll on me. When I turned in my uniforms at the end of my sophomore year, I walked away and never looked back. Basketball was over for me.

See, it wasn’t the debilitating injury that took me out. I bounced back from that. That I could fight through. It was when I broke inside – when I felt like everyone gave up on me. That is what took me out. When I felt like no one believed in me anymore… I no longer believed in myself. I couldn’t rebound.

Fast-forward to the 47-year old me that still thinks she’s 20…. As I watch these extremely-skilled players I can’t help but think about the amount of money that has been invested in their development. I am sure many of them are naturally gifted athletes, but I wonder how many out there aren’t gifted. How many of them have had that one person that believed so much in them that it took them to the next level? I mean this is club…. select… AAU…UAA… not just your ordinary school team. What about those kiddos who parents can’t, or won’t, dedicate the time, the money, the travel – to get their kiddos to the next level? What about the kiddos who want to learn, love the feeling of the sport, want to be better, want to put in the work, but maybe aren’t naturally talented? What about the Michael Jordans? (I mean he got cut from his high school team, remember.)

I have three AMAZING kiddos. Three kiddos I never put in club or select for many reasons… mainly they never had the drive for sports. They loved sports as recreation and time with friends. (Obviously they get their lack of competition from their father… lol! Just kidding, honey.) There is something beautiful in recreational sports.. but I feel like recreational sports are dying. Everyone is chasing the championship, the title, the glory…. and that’s okay too as long as we have a balance. (Kind of like when I eat chocolate… it’s fine until I try to be the champion of eating the entire Costco-sized bag of Dubai Chocolate in one sitting.)

Where was I? Chocolate…. competition… oh yes… recreational sports. Let’s bring them back. Grade-school coaches, don’t forget about the recreational kiddos or the Michael Jordans on the team. Don’t get so caught up in winning that we forget to teach them, coach them…believe in them. Grade school teams (in my humble opinion) should be about growth, instilling a love for movement, a love for the game, a love of teamwork, and self-discipline to push through discomfort. Because if we can build a great foundation for a kiddo, they could become the next Michael Jordan… or even the next Caitlyn Clark. Don’t forget, it’s not about natural skill, but spirit, dedication, love, growth, determination and resilience.

Never forget you can break the body… but when you break the spirit… you kill the dream. Let’s focus on building the spirit in our kiddos… no matter what their passion. Let’s build great humans… and if they love basketball and Dubai Chocolate… all the better.